The Dark Side has more fun.

Late, late. Always late.

Before anything though, I must insist you two people and small yappy-type dog view this one out of context with the previous entry. Um.

So, yes. Being in Singapore, you don't get many African Americans. Brothas, if you will. We have their Asian counterparts, the Indians. One thing I've found they share in common is the ability to have more fun. The other similarity I have no need to point out.

It's true. Even dismissing my reverse-racist prejudices, it's something out there for all to see. I cannot lie, and the other brothers can't deny. I was covering Vasantha Oli, an Indian celebration of Deepavali of sorts as far as I could tell. It's a community event, organized by grassroots people and Indian activity groups.

Most of the community events I've attended lean toward the constant-checking-of-watch type of event. Very few of the people attending seem to be having any fun. Polite applause aplenty, and all that sort of thing. Like Chinese weddings, really. No one actually knows each other, and it's all chatty aunts, drinking uncles and sullen kids. It's the free dinner that draws them, and the same works for these events.

I did say most. Some can be good fun - but this one had me blown. Away, that is. What were you thinking?

For one thing, the sheer number of people there was amazing. The event started in the morning with a Healthy Lifestyle theme that's oh-so-popular now. They had the whole tent full of people do an aerobics workout, Bhangra-style. You could get the VCD too, for just $2. I managed to restrain myself.


20,000 people doing the Chicken is a sight to behold. And try to wipe from your memory as fast as possible.


Then everyone sodded off to a mass Brisk Walk. I think too much of a deal is made out of it. EVERYONE LET'S ALL GET TOGETHER, WALK A RATHER SHORT DISTANCE AND THEN CONGRATULATE OURSELVES. All in the name of good health though, which I strongly support. With a cigarette and can of beer in hand.

For those who've never seen Chinese and Malay cultural displays, you'll have to take my word as to what they're like. Good luck to you. Chinese dances are graceful, fluttery things. Then you have Chinese Opera, which involves men in heavy makeup playing the part of women half their age. Accompanied by people banging on pots and pans with great enthusiasm.

In my opinion, Malay dances and songs are about the same, 'cept taken down a speed notch. Slower dances, more ballady ballads. Dangduts can be rather lively, though I'm hard pressed to describe them properly. Ok, ok, many Malays in colourful traditional dress sitting down cross-legged on the floor. Generally, the team is in rows of two or three. They play the Malay, bongo-like drums and sort of sing and chant and occasionally flail their arms. ...I messed that up, didn't I? Sorry.

But the point is, in none of them have I seen a Hoss!


Or peacocks!

...though you could say at Chinese celebrations there's pea-co... Nevermind.

Or flaming, angry gods!


Gods can always be appeased, of course. Our friend of the hellfire and brimstone was a lot more mellow after a Fillet O' Fish was sacrificed. Positively jaunty. And they say fast food is bad for you.


Seriously though, those were amazing costumes. And the dances were something else, too. A far cry from the forward-facing chicken dance that has tragically become iconic of Indian dances, our bloke upstairs kicked up a storm. The way he stomped about and the glare he had made you want to run to the nearest McDonald's to buy him another Fillet O' Fish.



Sri Lankan, I believe. Look and learn people. A well-designed outfit will take attention away from any belly and turn you majestic, majestic.



And of course, it's never complete without a pretty girl. Now sold in economical three-packs. I tried to chat them up, but they immediately assumed the SeeNoEvilHearNoEvilSpeakNoEvil pose. And then pretended they couldn't speak English.


On that forlorn note, I left the premises a sad goat. Alright, I lie. An angry god, sans Fillet O' Fish, threatened me with a fistful of curry powder. The event went on for a while yet though, with people milling about prodding the displays and such. Everyone then took a break until evening, where more stuff happened.

How do I know? Let's just say there is reason for my complaints about long hours and negotiable weekends. More is to come, yes. And no, the pictures I took at night didn't all turn out to be sheets of black.

-runs for it-