He outraged your...what?

If you think about it, the phrase is a little silly.

It's usually the men who are charged with outraging a woman's modesty. Because we all know men are sick, perverted, chauvinistic pigs. The rather interesting subject of how sexual violation laws in almost every country tend to apply solely to men is another article on its own merit however. And already done by people far more qualified by myself.

What we are interested in today, is the queer phrasing that everyone accepts automatically. A man outrages a woman's modesty through the intentional flashing of genitalia, molest, sexually intimidating language, or even simply very harsh words. That is, as far as I know.

But when one thinks of modest, or modesty, it's very often in conjunction with being unpretentious, or humble. Dictionary.com yields the following:

mod·es·ty
n.

1. The state or quality of being modest.
2. Reserve or propriety in speech, dress, or behavior.
3. Lack of pretentiousness; simplicity.

Ah, the possibilities.

Prosecutor: "Mr Creepy Bastard is being charged with allegedly outraging the modesty of Miss Pretty Girl with Unusually Large Breasts." -cue gasps of shock and...well...outrage, I suppose- "I now call the victim to the stand. Miss PGULB, is it true that Mr CB outraged your modesty?"

PGULB: "...y...yes, sir."

Prosecutor: "And how did he commit the offence?"

PGULB: She bursts into tears, clearly emotional. "I kept telling him I was just an average girl. But he insisted I had talent and looks and was a wonderful person and wouldn't stop! I felt so violated! Why couldn't he just let me be modest?!"

In the face of heartwrenching female distress and a spectacular cleavage, the man gets sent to jail, where certain orifices of his were repeatedly outraged. No modesty was involved. He emerges 20 years later a broken man, and a raging homosexual.

Well, maybe not. That was going to be my introduction for the textualizing of a conversation my ambiguously homosexual partner and I had about our own modesties being outraged in public toilets. Because I'm kidding no one if I say people read my writing for the quality of my powerful, emotive prose. And yes, we are the sort of weird people who have those kinds of conversations.

But no, you shall be spared that. I understand many a young eye could innocently stumble upon this content, and be mentally scarred for life. There is as well the trifling matter that I am sleepy, and have a good video I have yet to watch.

Do keep an eye out for such correct, yet kind of silly usages of language, though. It's entirely possible that I find them funny because of the Uneducation, but well.

Train Station Signboard: "If you see any suspicious articles, please inform station staff immediately." Line of people queuing at the station control with newspapers.

Those retarded banners outside schools saying, "XXX is a value-added school!" . The only other place I see the phrase is at McDonald's.

I do venture a fair bit off course with those. Less of correct but amusing use of words, slightly more...retarded. Who the hell really thinks the second is a good idea? I'm sure all the students will tell their friends and family with pride that they attend a value-added school. It takes a very special sort of person to think it's a good idea. Good enough to plaster in huge lettering on banners all over the school.

I think I met one of them the other day. In an empty - literally, no one else - toilet with twenty thousand urinals to choose from, he came right up to the one beside me. He unzipped his pants, and stared intently at my penis.

I felt very...proud.