Work, work (a la Warcraft Peon voice).
Finally, this thing is almost done with. It's tough, the switching of, from whatever can be termed my usual style of writing, to PORPER journalistic writing. Sort of like going from eating sirloin steak (medium rare or bust) to...chewing cardboard.
My legs feel like they've been spread for a host of 14 African-Americans from the walking...oh the walking, and I've had to mentally restrain myself from laying out several pieces of shit who were...well, being pieces of shit.
Nonetheless, a little more than a week, a route-march, and several sheets of cardboard later, I finally managed to produce something enough to be deemed "excellent". Ah, the sweet, sweet joy of vindication.
Self-congratulatory bits aside, in the few snatches of newspaper I managed to catch in between getting snubbed by people I want to interview, almost all had something to say about Web-logging.
If you've read the first few posts, you'll understand I've always been adverse to the term "blogging", and indeed apprehensive about setting this up in the first place. If you haven't... Well?
Look, it makes a disgusting sound in the first place. "Blog". Rather like the slightly hollow splat sound your brain would make were it scooped out your skull and dropped from a height. Now, slow down the pronunciation process, and you'll see that right from the start of the word, you have to do this gagging motion with your lips closed. The middle "Orrrh" sound is often heard in Club toilets when people drink too much, and to finish the word, you have to sort of choke yourself in the throat, as opposed to the crisp cut-off of words ending in "K".
Yes, I have just finished making a series of strange noises writing that and yes, I think my mother, outside the door, is wondering WTF her son is doing.
Everything involved in pronouncing the word, however, is put to great use when you read weblogs like this (click on Entries to reveal the full horror), which leads me to suspect that the term actually came about from the sounds made by some famous academic upon seeing things like in that link (credits to my Enigmatic Goddess and Australian Penguin dearest). His brain jumped out his skull to avoid further damage and the vomitting was the body's attempt to purge it from the system.
Web-logging, the keeping of an online journal or diary which other may peruse, is being abused. From having to tolerate the lovely Miss Wendy Cheng of Xiaxue fame's picture jumping out at you from the papers every two days to...things like the above link, and webloggers being threatened with libel suits left right, quality journals to read are becoming few and far between. An interesting point, in the light of my hardly reading any but uh...uh...
Yes (Gogo Eddie Izzard). The power of the written word, however, is finally being given its due with the proliferation of...Blogging. If I manage to quench the bile in my stomach and the bitter envy every time one of our Celebrity Bloggers makes it on the news...again, it is much cause for celebration! What I believe they're doing wrong, however, is encouraging everyone to blog, because the result will be twenty thousand Sanly Lims, which will uh, take up space on the internet because of all the X-s.
What I believe needs to be done is the coining of a new term, to give these bright young hopefuls their due recognition and respect. It has to be similar enough to the original term as to be recognizable, and simple enough to catch on. Ladies, gentlemen, and small yappy-type dogs, I present to you...
Flogging.
Omgwtf that is already a word. Tough cookies, and the original meaning is actually rather relevant, for the pain these people inflict. If you're wondering what the "F" stands for, here's a clue: Rhymes with Duck. Well, I suppose if you want to avoid being harsh, you can use another word, which rhymes with uh... Mailure. Sorry, nothing else.
And it gets late. Also, I really need to pee. Three people and a small yappy-type dog, I leave you with this:
Do people you like, with a blog, favours. Don't call them Bloggers. We are -Writers-, and would like to be termed such, with the exception of the 80% of the Blog-And-Flog population who think it's really groovy to be a Blogger. In which case, just make it the royal plural.
Hee hee. Flog. Ah, I kill me.
The entries will be a little slower, I think. Because if you see a guy in a yellow singlet and blue jeans pottering about where you live taking pictures of things and trying to jump people with interviews...yeah, it's me. And it's deceptively tiring, so most of the time I jump flop and drop when I get back.
Hee hee. Flop and drop. Ah...
Sorry.
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