Make them...stop...

Good very early morning.

This is TehUneducated, cub reporter, bringing you the latest scoop in...well, nothing in particular, really. With a bad attempt at an English accent from watching too much Eddie Izzard and harbouring an unhealthy attraction to him. Meh.

Just when you think you're at bottom-of-barrel, you find out you can hit new lows in your life when insomnia from a screwed-over sleeping schedule saves you procrastination on entry-ing the page.

A peculiar pattern I've been studying is that my esteemed employer will mysteriously vanish off the face of the earth when I send him stuff on a Saturday morning; namely the article-to-be I'd spent the night up on and need his feedback from. Indubitably, he's a busy man under much pressure, and it's only the second time I've done it but meh. Twice in a row. Same circumstances. Uncanny.

So it is then, that with yesterday being a bit of a break, today was spent aimlessly milling about an area of roughly 1x2 m² (Bed), with occasional loo and food breaks, trying to get him on the phone. Bless you, internet pirates, for providing sources of engagement other than reading yet again about Sino-Japan ties or how -Blogging- is teh next big thing.

Bit weird isn't it, that two economic giants in Asia are acting like little children fighting. I've developed a penchant for this lately so, bear with me.


China (As a little girl): Japs, I'm not playing with you anymore until you show that you're sorry for telling everyone I gave you a blowjob when all that really happened was that you grabbed my butt. And I didn't even say you could.

Japan (As little boy): Ok Chinsy, I'm real sorry about it and all. Can we play Doctor again now?

China: ...you can't say you're sorry while jacking off in front of me. How do you expect me to believe you when you stand fondling yourself with that stupid look on your face?

Japan: It doesn't mean anything! Honest! I always jack off when uh, it's 3.07pm on an odd day of the week. And the wind is blowing North. Or something. I'm really sorry. Mmmm. Oooh.

China: Well, bother you. I'm going home to rip up all the letters you gave me. And the nurses' outfit.

Japan flips off the retreating back of China
But I'm really sorry!

China: Saw that.

...you'd have to be following the saga to know what I'm talking about. And even then it's a long stretch. Serves as a good showcase of how twisted I can get, in any case. You really wonder what Japan is thinking, re-apologizing on one hand for being a piece of shit during the war while the government all but hails war criminals at the shrine. I just stare at the latest full-page commentary by yet another heavily lauded writer on the episode and think, look, you can say all that with: Yeap. Still being brats about it.

Oh, but what do I know. Just don't sue me. I quite stupid. Donch know what I sayings.

So, yes.

Nevermind the next -blogger- getting threatened with lawsuits over something they "thought they were just writing for their friends". Seriously, now. I write entertaining hopes that someday Brittany Murphy will read it, find me a sexy motha and send me a ticket to fly over to where she is, where we will live out our lives in glorious decadence. Enough with the whole "i tot onli my frenx wiww see sorry arhz". I don't know which is more pathetic: Clueless pieces of shit, or mega-corps that relentlessly hunt down webloggers who badmouth them on their weblogs. If Bush could threaten to sue each time...whoa.

I agree with the responsibility factor, but am worried about this intrusion, really. I doubt it'll end up with all self-published content (which is in essence what a weblog is) having to be the taste and consistency of cardboard, but where will it end?

And for chrissake, enough already. China-Japan. Blogs. A certain hairy-armed, effusive lady with a penchant for makeup in particular. Dead horses. Beating them.

News. Not Olds. Kthx.