...no, my neighbour does not have an ox. Don't particularly want one, either.
Though I must say, there's something about squeezing milk out of an udder that's...
Anyway.
Perhaps it's subliminal Hollywood brainwashing, but there's just something about that classic setup of writer-with-laptop-in-place-with-ambience thing that gets me. It's all over the place, isn't it? Writers are glamorized on the silver screen - no work required, it seems.
Just get a sexy, sexy Apple laptop and you're set, apparently. You'll be sitting at the Starbucks down the road, sipping overpriced designer coffee. In ten minutes, you'll bang out something a paper will pay you thousands for.
Or you'll be curled up in a huge fuck-off bed, soft golden lighting the only illumination as you peck pensively at the keyboard on your lap, putting the final touches to yet another bestseller. Then the drop-dead gorgeous, intelligent, funny, buxom blonde comes out the shower in a flimsy bathrobe, sashays up to you and lets it slide off her.
What follows after is probably not something I should be thinking about at work.
My kingdom for a laptop!
But yes, I'm no diva la obnoxia. Peepur lose camera, got fans buy for her, hor. The way it's going now, I'd be lucky to get a solar-powered calculator if the wheezing computer at home ups and dies on me.
2 comments:
Okay dude, you seriously need to get over the whole (insert certain blogger's name here) routine. I doubt it's helping, she got lucky, she's got boobs, she coincidentally appeals to a considerable portion of the teenage/adult population. I'd sorta know, because the missus enjoys reading her blog. OSNAP TEH HORROR.
See, you on the hand, have a male sexual reproductive organ. Not the most aesthetic sight according to VERY RELIABLE SURVEYS conducted. And that's like an anti-people repellant. Of sorts.
Anyways, point is, you didn't get the job, you got the shaft. In the anus. By an anonymous hooved critter. Stop beating on a dead horse. No pun intended HAWHAW....unless you're into that beastial necrophilia thing. And yes, longest post that somewhat made sense from me in a while. Cheers, and coming to a coffeeshop near you.
Buy me laptop and I is slave for negotiable period kthx.
Nah, you lost the point. Was just a passing reference. Unless, of course, that's the bitter subconscious speaking. Wouldnae be surprised.
But yes, point taken and quite obliged for it. Such lucid salience is rare for you.
...I don't suppose it would help if I got breasts?
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