You know what? I used to be teh funny. I could take the most uninspired title and work it to elicit chuckles from even my usually solemn home tutor. I used to be so much more expressive. Amongst the top of the class for an essay on what I believed to be the best invention mankind has created, mine argued convincingly for the Rubber Condom. Solicited by classmates to do the honours for the compulsory one-entry-per-class book review, I smacked something together over the course of one lecture on a book I'd read months ago, and won. A streak of the unconventional, a scathing wit, and killer use of italics made me a force to be reckoned with on paper, as bad as that sounds, and earned me respect from those I respected.
So, WTF did that all go?
I'm going to go out on a limb here and draw a nice parellel between the state of myself and how Minister Mentor Lee Kun Yew says he has handled Singapore. In wanting, so badly, a place for top culture, he ignored pop culture. Similarly, though I'd be hesitant to call something as unique as myself pop culture, I believe that, in all the self deprecation and journalistic ambition, I've lost a sense of what I used to be. Sure, a good chunk of what I wrote would never qualify for publishing in polite circles, but fuck, back then, I liked myself and my writing! Look at the damned educational flow-chart I drew out previously...just look at it. With nauseatingly few amendments, it could easily be passed to damned foreign delegates as an informational source, as far as political correctness goes. Where is the irreverence of yore?!
As these things tend to, I just got all of that in one inspired flash from a weird place, really: A friend, who doesn't Blog that often.
This was him, back then:
If Ya'll wodering why I haven't updated in 3 days... I STAYED IN CAMP YESTERDAY!
it wasn't all that bad actually... went to watch daredevil after work.. then it finished at about 11+ so well. decided to stay in camp.. it'd be stupid to spend a shitload of money to go home and come back to camp early the next morning when i can spend sixty cents getting back to camp and waking up at 7:30...
yeah so today went to work and.. did nuthing really.. such is the life of a storeman.. fucking hell signed for loss of store amounting to about $125+.. cheeeeebyeeeee. its okay lah.. handing over my stores to the regular sergeant.. my bloody faggot of a supervisor, trying to make me feel small all.. whatever lah. i dun give half a fuck.. so went to NUS GUild House to play snooker wit me mates after work then proceeded to ---'s place to hang and chill.. was damn tired by the time I left his place.(no dirty thoughts You perverts!) hailed a cab at 11:57 and a merce cab came.. cool.... but stupid thing is they start midnight surcharge at 11:30.. fine.. at least i got to go home in style.. paid 5:40 for the cab and well.. now i am back bloggin... WhooPee!.. off to bed..
Monday, March 03, 2003
Heh... Met up with --. Was quite boring actually. I'm of the opinion dat -'s friend is pretty much her friend coz he wants ta get into her pants. Disgusting. I'm not like dat... I'm her friend so i can get into her pants AS WELL as make fun of her! hah! hope she dun see dis...He has since joined some multi-level marketing company. Something to do with health products and sales. In my opinion, the first thing he sold when he joined up was his soul. This, is him, recently:
I went home after work yesterday to reflect on how things are now and how being in XXXX Corp. and what XXXX Corp. has given me has made me happy. XXXX Corp. has given me so much and I really owe such a huge debt of gratitude to Mr. ----, ----, ----, --- and ----.
XXXX Corp. has given me personal development which is priceless. It has given me a career. It has given me sight of my future. It has given me GOALS and Dreams. It has given me a team I know I can rely on. It has given me fresh perspective on life. And although I wasn't quite lacking in the department of self-confidence before, XXXX Corp. has boosted my self confidence. I can list so many more reasons why I love XXXX Corp.
One's own conclusions can be drawn, really. You could say he's matured. Developed himself. On his way to something stable he can call his own. The fact is, he never calls me these days, or even says hi on MSN when we're both on. He used to be able to make me laugh till my cheeks ached. These days, when I do get to see him, we eat, and go home. Identities witheld to protect yackityshmackity.
I miss him, a lot. I wish he knew, and maybe I should talk to him someday about it. People like me don't make many friends, but he's one of a select few that I thought was one of those people one could sit down in old age and bitch about times gone with. I don't know if I'm wrong. As much as I give him flak for what he does, and diss the damned company itself, if he's happy, I guess I'll have to be.
...Plus, he owes me two thousand dollars.
So, yes. In my wanting so badly to enter into the Writing scene, I believe I've done myself an injustice with the whitewashing and political correctivity, the lack of both of which was really all the claim to fame I had as a writer. As much as I admire some journalists and indeed think Sumiko Tan is teh bomb, I enjoyed writing this piece as much as I was reluctant to start on the previous few; and I believe that's revealing enough about what kind of a stance I should take with regard to content and style.
Fuck, half of Xiaxue's appeal comes from her swearing, and indeed, a whole PAGE IN THE NEWSPAPERS WAS DEDICATED TO THAT PARTICULAR ASPECT OF HER ALONE THE OH-SO-POPULAR BLOG AWARD WINNER THAT SHE IS. And I'm writing anonymously, too, and very probably to just myself. For while some random piece of shit out there might Google "education", I doubt anyone would do the same for "uneducated in singapore", heh. Oh, don't get me wrong though, I think Xiaxue has potential. That was just professional jealousy speaking.
In the next session with The Uneducated, find out his stance on the little slime that is PSC Scholar Chua Cheng Zhan!
"So, for the sake of argument, let's call them 'Lesser Races'..."
Thanks, half-lost buddy mine, for helping me rediscover the inner asshole in me. =)
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